art & change

good afternoon it's the 4th of june, 12:11 pm currently. I am pondering over what to write in this blog of mine. ever since I took the oath to fill this place with only positivity I think I've become very positive myself! a good change. 

I was going through my gallery and I came across some drawings I did. which I am now going to show to you all. 

sista #1

obi

adhe adhure 4lyferz

apologies to 4lyferz, halfway through the drawing I realized that I had messed up very bad (made my face too tiny oopsies) and that made me lose motivation to keep going. 

I think I should stick to sketching on paper haha.

moving on. life is very difficult. every other person reeks of misogyny and I feel very disturbed by it. sometimes, I sit and think about how challenging life is for us girls. I also feel like the feminism we partake in is not enough and we need to think bigger and better. I wonder if this world might ever change in a way to cater to us. I'm so fed up that I don't believe in equality anymore. equality is nowhere near enough and we shouldn't settle for it. The little jabs you hear on a daily basis is bound to have a profound affect on you. it's just a matter of when and where you snap. 

recently I've been thinking of getting an evil eye necklace. just because I think? I want new jewellery heh.

good things that happened recently: stocked up on self care items, got new cat pj's.

oh and our geezer switch was fixed after two whole months. I didn't see it as a negative thing though. normally, i would've called up the electrician guy myself and have the problem fixed. but this time around, i saw this an opportunity to bring about a necessary change. and it worked! I was able to get rid of my habit of taking scalding hot showers. today, I was happy to bathe in hot water after a long while. it didn't feel as good though, it was weird and it seemed like my body had gotten used to refreshing, cold showers. 

in a way, I believe it's poetic; losing something you believed you couldn't live without and yet, you managed better than you had expected and even when you get it back, you don't want it anymore because it was never a need.

it's 11.21 am on 8th june, monday. I just finished watching divya's vlog, reading khudse and safarnama. it's a routine now. instead of scrolling on instagram or twitter like i used to. i now spend that time reading blogs. a healthy change haha. thank you to my dear 4lyferz. 

my beautiful readers, stay strong and we shall have a beautiful world devoid of hate and everything ugly.

-love, saba

bonus pic:

obi sleeping on my bed

my dream life ?

whenever someone asks me what my dream vacation would be. the same thing comes to mind every single time.

the countryside; because of the slow nature of things and life. it would have to be europe or something, because certainly, I cannot pick some village in u.p (no offense, but the people over there are very close-minded and just judgemental in general)

I don't know much of how life works over there but from what I have seen in movies, it seems like a perfect life.

in a way, my love for the 'countryside' comes from k-dramas.

my favorite k-dramas of all time are: hometown chachacha & my liberation notes. and azure spring! the one I'm watching currently and what inspired me to write this hehe.

they differ vastly in their storylines and the message they want to put across, but the one aspect that remains consistent is the slow, healing life they live. it usually goes like this; when they hit a slump or a burnout in their career in the city, they move back to the countryside where they grew up where they find hope and courage to give life a second chance.

I am a bit obsessed with thought of living such a life. although I'm very used to the convenience of cities and I don't think I could survive there for more than a week. hence, it's a 'dream' life. 

to give a visual of what I imagine:

it's a little unrealistic and maybe even the setting of a horror film. but does this place not make you want to leave everything behind and spend your days basking in the sunlight eating organics you've grown yourself? 

in my fantasy, I'm there with my dearest son obi, and loved ones who wish to join me (4lyferz ko special invitation 🫡)

it would be filled with bugs and unpredictable weather. the closest supply store would be a 30 minute drive away. you hurt yourself? another 30 minutes of driving. but alas the mental peace would make it all worth it.

may we all get to live the life we dream of.

lots of love,

-saba